What does it mean to be 'free'? You tell me? It could be free from time limits, free from a physical barrier, free from gluten. I guess it depends on what you class a restraint. Recently I've had a fair few restraints. My life has been put on hold, and barriers put in place in order to gradually release little freedoms in a way which I can take responsibly to continue my pursuit of health. This week the time had come, for some restraints at least to be released in a way where I knew I was ready to manage that responsibility. So now, this April morning 2018, this is what it feels like to be free... Freedom is: WALKING myself out of the room on my legs, MY legs, not four wheels. It was ME walking, I didn't have to harass for a 'taxi' driver or rely on another human to push my vessel. I could do that for myself. And that was freedom. Freedom to me right now is using my new-found legs to take me to the kitchen, solo, to grab a beverage of my choice. My choice, and to make it and drink it, knowing it was up to me, no questions asked, no support needed. Just fluids and freedom Freedom is an extra 10 minutes of fresh air, real fresh air, outside. Be it rain or shine that sweet oxygen in mine. For my lungs, for 10 more minutes than before. Freedom is subjective and relative. Freedom is knowing that there is space to breathe and move and choose. But the true freedom for me right now is knowing that I can do these things from a place of balance, compassion and responsibility. It's rewiring the freedom to embrace that extra inch without taking a mile. Because to take a mile would be to lose that freedom and trap myself once again in my old ways.
The miles will come inch by inch, full freedom will come with time and patience. Today, that's what freedom means to me.
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March 2019
Take a sip from the cup of my mind, and let the thoughts brew... |