In my previous blog post I explored a few ways in which you can recover from ‘those’ days of internal scrutiny, general personal domestic disputes and fall-outs with the other half (the other half being yourself). However, I was intrigued to hear feedback of the female focused lens from which my ‘best-friend’ tips were seen through. Given my gender I guess it was no surprise, but it made me think.
“I wonder how guys pamper themselves?”
I know my brother sure doesn’t get a kick from a new shade of nail polish, or pretty pink porridge. So I went about asking a few of the guys about what they get up to in their ‘chill days’.
Despite the sample selection being both small and within the bubble of my local community, I can conlude that guys value:
So, here is an adapted version of ‘How to be your own best friend’ for all you lads out there who quite frankly deserve a dude-day of being a total top lad. (warning, gender stereo-typing present)
How to be your own best man.
1, Wake up with a roar.
Awaken and open wide to release all your inner ‘bad mood bear’ grudge from the previous day. If you don’t fancy leaving your cave yet, then don’t. When you eventually rise, don’t give into the razor, sit up and scratch your stubble. Don’t even glance at the wardrobe and for goodness sake, do not touch that can of Lynx (a sudden flock of females would simply hinder your lad sesh today).
2. Breakfast is the way to a Bro’s heart
Yes you are a culinary genius (duh) but today there is no need to impress yourself with cooking up a storm. All you need in life is bacon. Alternatively, this might not float your goatee,
There is no judgement of your manliness today, so if a delicate bowl of almond milk chia pudding with fresh berries and a sprinkling cinnamon has been calling your name ever since you enviably eyed up your girlfriends breakfast, then get your ‘deliciously Ella’ on.
3.Keep the wing-man pep talk going..
…and the beard growing. Turn that quick glance at your reflection into a full on self-smolder stare. Just LOOK at how awesome you look. Give yourself a fist pump/bro hug every time you feel you need it. (Just don’t shatter the mirror with your superhuman bicep strength.
4.Take the day as it comes
(I feel this is the one that is most variable between genders and individuals)
So you it’s the end of your lad day, you’ve slouched, chilled it’s about time you sung along to a bit of shameless Taylor Swift as you follow your shower of praise with an actual shower and an ice cold beer followed by more of whatever you fancy treating yourself to. (Pokemon Go? I think so.)
6. Don’t let anyone get in between you and your best man
Pals before gals, bros before hoes, you get the gist. Even the cat might take aways from your self love today, so shove it off your sofa and save every drop of self efficacy for just that. Yourself.
Oooh, didn’t see that one coming… You’ve been a total top lad all day so what reason would you have to cry? Well apparently men only cry 6 times per year! So in order to maintain your sense of self strength, show yourself today that you are still human and can kick out that gender stereotype because there will be no judgement, not lad-points lost and I know it sounds like a typical girl thing to say, but EVERYONE needs a good cry sometimes. So get on the sad film and show a bro it’s okay to be bawling not ballin’.
So yesterday was one of those days. Eye bags the size of Jupiter, motivation smaller than Pluto and a whole solar system of a to-do list to get through. With these contradicting circumstances it’s safe to say that it truly was a ‘hump day’. I barely made it out alive.
Why are we so scared of change?
I'm not talking about the daunting jingle pennies weighing down our purse and lurking between the sofa cushions, I mean REAL change. The uproot of something familiar and secure, something reliable and predictable, something safe.
I guess it is the 'safety' aspect of routine that could be why change can be so anxiety provoking. I mean, looking from an evolutionary perspective, if your cave dwelling ancestor self was forced to uproot and move to a new den or decided that some dubious looking berries were a risk worth consuming. It could well end up with some hungry-for-human dino roommates or a nasty case of death by berry. Sorry, no passing on of your risk-taking genetics there! But equally, if said caveman never took risks and always remained in the current abode, it may never get out and experience all the great fire discovering activities that a healthy and apt human could potentially have.
This is where my I take a moment to consider how cave-dwelling I might be and why I might fear change in the present day. I am far from 'perfect' and to be quite honest, far from feeling 'fulfilled'. My health is not at its best both physically or mentally. So if there ever was a good time to embrace change, that risk taking time should be now.
Now there are many ways you could try to change:
Me trying to 'switch up my morning with 'Sweet pota-toast'
" If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."
But these aren't the changes I fear. These aren't the changes that evolve the cave-dweller to reach its full evolutionary potential.
I'm talking about BIG changes. SCARY changes. The changes that really make us feel UNCOMFORTABLE.
Whether it be a new job, a new hobby, a new experience or a new house. They can most importantly lead to what I believe to be the most influential change of them all...
A change of mind-set.
In fact, there is some fantastic research into the true capacity y of a mind-set change highlighted in a Ted Talk by psychologist Alia Crum which is well worth a watch.
So I plan to make changes- as scary as they come, because I do wish to be a better version of myself. But big or small, the action and outcome of these changes are fairly insignificant in comparison to the power that is the gradual and persistent push to change mind-set.
...Oh and look after those annoying little pennies weighing down your purse- soon they will add up to pounds!
Apparently we all need 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight. But lets face it, we also need to love the food we eat and sometimes we need a bit of procrasti-baking to help us through. That's why this recipe helps satisfy all of the above.
Roll on the Peanut butter protein ball recipe.
Take a sip from the cup of my mind, and let the thoughts brew...