They say to substitute your crisps and chocolate with healthy fruit alternatives, so why not do the same for your basic moods. Here are some analogical fruity snacks to fortify your friendly small talk...
Speaking of upgrades, if you were a fruit, you'd be a FINEapple. Even looking at this sun kissed image is giving me lifestyle fomo. Funky, fresh, bursting with energy and a look that says "messy hair, don't care."
On 'pineapple' days you are embracing YOU, and if anyone tries to get in the way of that, well they are just a sour grape that will simply bounce off your rambunctious spike-a-licious 'do.
A subtle way of saying you forgot to put on deodorant this morning...
You can try all you like to convince everyone that you are a sweet treat but in reality you are a shrivelled, unattrctive and unappealing choice of company for today. You are either; tired, hungover, getting old, or all of the above.
My advice here would be to get some water down you ASAP and keep yourself in a securely sealed container.
Oooh watch out world, we've got some sassy eye-stinging, lip puckering insults of irritation ready today.
..But then again you could always make some pretty sweet lemonade.
Gosh you are invincible today (and doesn't everyone know it). A coconut is strong, energised, unique, determined and unstoppable...maybe too much so. Although you may love your own greatness, being so tropically talented, you might want to be mindful of more meek and bruise-able blueberry buddies whom may not appreciate the squishing of their vibes. Also, watch out for that coconut come-down because inevitably you will crack, spilling your stuff everywhere (much to the worlds delight.).
You quite feel like divulging in a 19th century novel whilst you sip your home-ground coffee form Nicaragua. Your music of choice today will most likely be tunes of the Yoruba tribe's sun salute pulled from your 'gap-yah' mix-tape. You may be in a good mood, but that good mood is only enough for you to enjoy.
...And there are plenty more fruit in the bowl from which you can express your soul. Whether you're a subjectively stubborn satsuma, having a tomato style identity crisis or even feel like a pear in despair, then at least you have fortified your frivolous feelings with some five-a-day flavour.
No harm in getting a little fruity.