The ice caps are melting, fossil fuels are dwindling and the air we breathe is fortified with the waste products of our own greed. I'm sure you've heard it all before, and you may feel guilty about your five jet-setting holidays this summer, your reliance on electrical appliances and your obsession with coal-loaded campfires. But it's okay, because there are new, more subtle and socially acceptable ways to fulfill your airpollution needs, also known as The Charcoal trend.
So put away the petrol, and embrace a darker side of life.
Black is the new black.
So why Charcoal?
Aside from making a bold colour statement, 'activated charcoal' is supposed to have an array of health benefts. It's specifically made by burning carbon sources such as coconut shells (so don't start sprinkling the BBQ ashes on your salad- that stuff is harmful), and is supposed to benefit your body. From reducing intestinal gas and 'bad' cholesterol levels to supporting the adrenal glands, Charcoal boasts 'scientific studies' to back up it's health benefits and brain detoxifying properties.
So if you're worried about your health (and the lack of black on your instagram) then here are a few things I've tried that can help to crank up your carbon engine...
The Charcoal Latte
How many times a day do you drink coffee? Once, twice? Well now, you can fortify this habit to fit in perfectly. Made with powdered charcoal it's subtle enough to easily intergrate into your life, indie enough to give you a few that 'carbon credit' you need, and aesthetic enough to snap a few shots for your lifestyle blog.
Just a heads-up though, it's no cup of tea. Although it's not an overly distinct flavour, the gritty bitty texture is a little displeasing. You also might want to consider that if you bought one of these everyday, you may not be able to afford other things like a house or food or clothes....
But those things aren't that important.
The Charcoal bun
Worried that you don't live anywhere near an indie coffee shop to cater for your charcoal latte needs? No problem, because the trend has even been embraced by highstreet stores like Marks & Spencer! Among other charcoal products, their new lunchtime range includes a Lime and Chilli prawn sandwhich with a painfully pretentious protruding pipette and of course a show-stopping charcoal bun.
Aside from fullfilling your lunchtime needs, this tasted no different to your regular bun- and surprisingly soft! Not gritty, not 'burnt' but simply delicious, a perfect way to quite literally get you carb-on.
Hmm, I know what you're thinking: teeth are white, charcoal is black. This surely will be disasterous. But come on guys, trust the trends. Be it fact or fad Charcoal toothpaste and teeth whitening equipment have shown to remove stains on those nashers.
I personally don't find the lack of refreshing mint enough to carry my hygeine habits to ecodentas ways, but alternatives such as Just Smiles charcoal powder can be vouched for by by Meg J-A and many other of my trendy friends who dabble in dark dentistry.
If global warming is a concern for you, then never fear, charcoal icecream is here to cool you down on those un-natuarally hot days. I've not yet tried this but it's certainly on my black-bucket list for those upcoming sunny summer days.... If I can find anywhere that will cater for it (I doubt Ben & Jerry will be providing such anytime soon, given their planet loving ethos)
So, you can either get down and glum about the lack of effects that any 'good-samaritan deeds' might have on the overall inevitable environmental downfalls, OR you can stick your compost bins and carbon-free cars by turning to the dark side. Jump on that gas-guzzling band wagon and enjoy the carbon adventures while they last.
Take a sip from the cup of my mind, and let the thoughts brew...